Teens

We know that you’re too busy fighting off your biological urges and being l33t hax0rs to Get Involved, but politics is cool, m’kay?Nobody ever seems to do anything for The Kids! All the decisions are made by suits, man. That’s so lame!!! We know you think of yourselves as responsible citizens, but what you wanna do is turn that thought into an action, dudes.

Get involved – to the extreme!

The BBC politics for kids/teens site is, like, totally wacked! Ditto for the Parliament education site. Fanta-stick!

YoungGov is totally the business for having your say, and there are even wicked Youth Parliament sites for the UK, Scotland and Europe.

(Hey, chill with the anti-Europe vibes already! You totally won’t be able to wear the word ‘fcuk’ on your shirt anymore if we break our connection with France, y’dig? ROFFLE!)

So, cut it with the bling bling and do something for the community, man. Join in and take action with any of the groovy sites we’ve listed, or just drop Tom a line for a quiet rap by the electronic e-mail. Tom’s well-up on the Interwebnet, and he won’t harsh your buzz or dis you down the line.

WARNING: Getting involved in politics may cause premature ageing and a sudden loss of friends.

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Before contacting about this page please scroll down and read this. Innit.

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Welcome to my Teens page. If you’ve scrolled this far, you’re probably still in a state of utter disbelief. Good for you. Hang onto that.

The Teens page was designed as a parody of how some politicians ‘connect’ to young people. Like William Hague in a baseball cap at the Notting Hill Carnival or Neil Kinnock in the Tracy Ullman video.

In recent months the section has gained a certain amount of notoriety. Below are a few quotes from the many hundreds of emails we received about it.

For those that found it funny, we’re glad you enjoyed it. For those that didn’t… Oh well, we did try to amuse.

Finally, for those that found the site through the teens section and have stuck around, we say thank you, we appreciate you getting involved – to the extreme of course ;-)

Tom Watson

“Your teens section seems to be developing a bit of a cult following. Perhaps the title of The Minister of Hilarity awaits you in the cabinet? God knows, the government needs a laugh now more than ever.”

Andrew Withey

“What in the hail? Why do you do this website? Is there a joke? Are you for serious? Please help to understand.”

Dennis Kearney

“Your site had me ROFL – Keep up the good work man!”

Brett (over 30 and reads the Grauniad!)

“Please, oh god PLEASE tell me that teens.html is a hoax. If it is, well done! I can happily laugh my socks off. If it isn’t – yikes. They’re *young*, you know, not lobotomised.

“Still, I’m sure you were kidding. :)

Karen

“If you’d like to send us a translation of the Teens page for those of us old f*rts who aren’t cool enough to understand all of it? [Note for self: Must ask granddaughter for crash rap course.]“

Dick Robinson

“I have never read anything more patronising in my life. Whoever wrote that pile of nonsense on the site wants to actually speak to young people before they try to speak like them and turn themselves into a laughing stock. If you want to get the attention of young people then I suggest that you don’t insult their intelligence. The only thing good that I can see from that site is that I am still laughing at your extremely poor attempt to make yourself look as though you can connect to young people.

“Oh and when you wrote ‘ROFFLE’ I am sure that you meant ‘ROFL’??”

Burney 99

“I think any attempt to engage young people into a sense of involvement in their future and in the country they live in and how it is governed is commendable, even if the party you represent sold us all down the river a long, long, long, long, time ago.”

Helen Czinege

“Sorry to be rude but please get a grip with your teens section. It’s really quite patronising.”

David Malkinson

“I’m not a Labour supporter but I think this form of direct communication should be lauded, especially given the ready use of the internet medium by those very young people that might otherwise discount politics as inaccessible. There’s a lot more to it than just a blog I know, but hey, got to start somewhere.”

John Atkins

“You are one sad little man.”

David Tosh

“Here in the US we’ve had frighteningly low electoral turnouts by younger voters (which is probably one of the reasons Bush is in office ). We should all be sitting up and taking notice. You’re doing an awesome job. Keep up the good work.”

Jeff Olbertz, Denver, Colorado, USA

“Cracking site.”

From an over 30 (Not guardian reader though!)

“The amount of apathy the general public have towards politics in this country should be a cause of concern for all politicians (although I suspect there are some who quite like the fact that no one cares what they are up to – and rather view it as none of our business!!), a little more openness and making relevant information easier to access should go some way towards solving this problem.”

Zoe Foss

“Well at least you’re not actually trying to ‘reach out’ to the youth of today with that complete load of bullshit. I guess in that sense it’s actually kind of funny.”

Logan

“Not being British I can not claim to know the response of British youth towards your teen website, but I have the feeling you are not going to garner too many votes if you treat them like imbeciles. Damn man, you site is condescending and patronizing. You will be lucky if all you do is turn them off to politics at worst they will vote your dumb ass out of office.”

Seangdg

“Hi there Tom,

“I was looking through your teens page, very interesting! Great to see that you are taking an active interest in the young community of people in England, and the whole of the UK. Your page is very amusing – and I love your use of our young language style – dude :) What more could I ask for? An excellent use of young people’s language, amusing comments all over the page, and a great last line!

“A question – how do I vote for you? When I’m 18, that is!

“I wish you the best of luck.”

Chris

“An American teenager would like to communicate that you, sir, r0x0r.

“I wish we had representatives of government with a sense of humor like yours. Maybe it has something to do with British humor.”

Greyday