Entries from April 2005 ↓

Is it me, or are there signs that this awful strategy being pursued by Mr Howard is beginning to wear a little thin? In a cunning Lynton Crosby plot, the nation can now design their own Tory posters.

Two things amuse me about this post by Bob Piper. Firstly, its the other-worldliness of the comments. I haven’t stopped laughing since I read them. Secondly, its that the campaign people in all the political parties probably didn’t pick it up. To them its just another peer of the realm proving they’re out of touch. To footy fans, its excrutiating, funny, unbelievable, painful, hilarious and just down right ridiculous.

I live in fear of these moments. Right now, I wouldn’t have a clue what is number one. I’ve not watched a soap for weeks (although Mrs Watson keeps me posted). I can just about tell you the price of a pint of milk and loaf of bread. I know who is in the FA cup final but didn’t watch any of the semi-final games and wouldn’t know who scored the goals. These are your dreaded “five-live” moments.

Yesterday, I went out in the High Street with a life size cardboard cut-out of Michael Howard. The results were interesting – mainly comic,sometimes disturbing but mostly, for a Labour candidate at least, very reassuring.

Most people had no idea who the cut-out was supposed to be. One person asked if it was me before I had put on weight! Another man, with tattoos on his face, pointed at me aggressively and said “I’m not voting for you and I’m not voting for him. You let the immigrants in and he is one!” I don’t mind admitting I was lost for words on that one. A couple of kids said he looked creepy. A number of people remembered that he was the Conservative bloke who brought in the poll tax. The juggler who was entertaining shoppers said he wasn’t likely to vote, but if he did, it definitely wouldn’t be for Howard. Lots of people said we couldn’t afford to let “him” or “them” back in. For the two hours we were there, not one person said that they were voting Conservative. All in all, Mr Howard was a hit. I think I’ll keep him for the campaign.

Remember Ed Matts? He’s the Tory candidate running against Jim Knight in Dorset South. He’s done a Letwin and has been missing in action since his unfortunate difficulty. How he must hark back to a bygone age. An age when a nostalgia tour wasn’t a metaphor for your political career. How he must wish that he had kept to the policy he adhered to in 2000. The one where he thought asylum seekers in the vicinity would lead to aggressive begging. Those were the days. The days when you could complain about your opponents using photographs without permission.

My feet are killing me. I have blisters on blisters. Yesterday, I idiotically emabarked on a grand tour of key seats with a number of friends. Four constituencies in a day is a killer. Then back in my own patch for evening campaigning. I read somewhere that Ollie Letwin is sleeping two and a half hours a night at present. I was out cold for 10 solid hours last night and am now late for the morning schedule.

There were some comic moments in between the pavement pounding though. I met a woman who was voting Labour. So was her mother in law. She’d forgiven John Prescott for allowing his bus to knock her front garden wall down during the 2001 election! Then there was the man in Wolverhamption who gave us all hot samosas for breakfast. We also spent a bit of time in Yardley which was lively. The Liberals are briefing the press that they have won there. I’m not so sure. A number of people said that they found the Liberal candidate a bit too intense for their liking.

Today, I’m door knocking, submitting the nomination papers and doing Rover related stuff.

Tonight, I’m taking my campaign team to the pub – although of course during the election, I’m not allowed to “treat” people to drinks. Works every time….

Tim meet Polly.

I asked the campaign team to send me to Labour areas in the constituency this week. The excuse was that I wanted to listen to the views of our “natural” supporters. Of course this wasn’t the real reason. The real reason was that I wanted cheering up! It’s worked though. I’ve really enjoyed the last two days. Had some great conversations and some real laughs. From the granny who couldn’t speak because her “grandson was having a poo” to the volunteer who couldn’t help because his “wife was taking her tortoise to the vets”.

There are a lot of issues raised – far more than the last election. I’ve talked to a dozen colleagues who report a good reception. One colleague said that four years ago people were sticking their V’s up at his battle bus, this time its thumbs. I had a similar incident four years ago when John Prescott lent me his battle bus for a couple of hours (on pain of death that I didn’t scratch it). The good drinkers of my favourite pub – the Wheatsheaf – were in a feisty mood when a forty-two seater luxury coach paid them an unexpected drive by at three in the afternoon. I hear that JP is in town in the next few days. I wonder if he’d let me test it out this time….

In the real world. A big bundle of nappies arrived today. They hit home hard. Strange that it is nappies that did this. After all, we have a room full of baby stuff. My mum has knitted seven cardigans already. Siobhan assembled an Ikea wardrobe to house all the stuff last week (regular readers will remember that this is the one I should have assembled a month ago). Anyway, pride of place in the baby’s bedroom is the beatiful creature pictured above. You can get them on ebay at bargain prices. Just type in “ugly doll”

Well, after an unbelievably busy weekend with Rover the first day has got off to a proper start. This week we’ve been sticking on labels, folding letters, stuffing envelopes and delivering leaflets. It’s peculiar when you are in the middle of your own campaign. I’ve run elections for other candidates and much prefer that. When you’re the candidate a lot of people put their faith in you. Mess up or get tired or fail to lead and everyone gets down in the dumps. Your agent is usually stretched taught with exhaustion. Your campaign team are sleep deprived. Its up to you to keep everyone up and I’m not very good at that. Still, it could be worse. I could be party leader and Mrs Watson could have given birth last night . Well done Charles and Sarah.

I have a lot to say about Rover but not just yet. Today, the task force meets. Today, thousands of people are facing an uncertain future. Our single purpose must be to preserve as many jobs as we can at Longbridge. When we get through the next few days, I’ll share my thoughts in more detail.

Nick Barlow only sings when he’s winning. Come on you baggies.

A few days ago I posted that my colleague, Liam Byrne, has identified a huge hole in Liberal Democrat spending assumptions. At the time, the usual Lib Dems decided to post in the comments section. Nick Barlow was very indignant with this comment:

“Interesting emphasis you put on there Tom. Note that the pres release you cut-and-paste says:

And I presume Liam Byrne will (or perhaps ‘may’) make these figures available to Vince Cable.

Oh dear. It appears that maybe Vince Cable has looked at Liam’s figures and you know what? The Liberal Democrats have had to adjust their costings. See Lib Dems forced to revise spending plans in the Financial Times.

…the catering department declare a cutlery amnesty. This just in:

Crockery & Cutlery Amnesty
We would like to take this opportunity to ask all Members of Parliament and their staff to return any crockery or cutlery items that they may find in their offices. Items found can be returned to any of the cafeterias across the estate or at the drop-off points that will be set up in the following areas from Thursday 7th April.